RiffRaf

Lost Gems: "Hey Sandy" by Polaris

                          

Year: 1993 

Genre: Indie/College Rock

For anyone in their mid to late twenties, "Hey Sandy" is a song you'll recognize from its first note. While the rest of us were cranking Nirvana, you guys were in front of your television sets with a bowl of Fruit Loops, watching "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" on Nickelodeon, in between marathon sessions of Nintendo.

Admit it, you wish you were there right now, don't you? So do I.

For the rest of us who are over or under the target age, "Hey Sandy" will immediately shoot up our list of great TV theme songs. And none of us will ever figure out the lyrics.

Polaris was an offshoot of the band Miracle Legion, beginning as a duo - singer/guitarist Mark Mulcahy and guitarist Ray Neal - in New Haven in 1983. They added Jeff Wiederschall (drums) and Joel Potocsky (bass), and in 1984 they recorded the EP The Backyard, which includes the great title track. The song was a college radio hit and the band was poised to take off. They were even drawing comparisons to REM.

           

After a couple of label changes and a new bass player (Steve West), they finally released an LP in 1987, Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!, to decent reviews. But the landscape had changed. In college radio time, three years is an eternity.

More lineup changes followed. They recorded Me and Mr. Ray as a duo, and a pretty track, "You're The One-Lee" (as in "only"), hit the airwaves a few times on a show called 120 Minutes that was on a certain Music Television channel.

There were more personnel changes and more label trouble. The band recorded two more albums, fan favorite Drenched in 1992, and Portrait of a Damaged Family, which would not see the light of day until 1996, when it was released by Mulcahy's own label, Mezzotint.

The creators of "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" were fans of Miracle Legion, so they asked the band to record some music for the show. By that time the band had splintered, and Ray Neal wasn't interested but Mulcahy accepted. He worked on the show with a new band, but they called themselves Polaris. They were the house band for all three seasons, and recorded enough material to release one album that was the closest they ever came to the "sound" they had on The Backyard. Many twenty-somethings claim the show shaped their listening habits for life.

In 2009, long time fans, Thom Yorke, Frank Black, Michael Stipe and The National, among others, recorded a Mark Mulcahy tribute album - Ciao My Shining Star: The Songs of Mark Mulcahy - to help him out after his wife had suddenly passed away.

Whether it was college kids seeking refuge from the all too familiar sounds of top 40 radio in the 80s, or twenty and thirty-somethings reliving the glory days of childhood, at one time these "two" bands meant something to two different generations, leaving both with a lot to remember.

                   

(Jim Pace can usually be found directing music videos in and around NYC. He will begin production on his first feature film in 2013. He spends his spare time writing songs, screenplays and getting involved in anything that will give him an excuse to listen to more music.)  

Lost Gems: "(How to Keep Your) Husband Happy" by The Cosmopolitans

  
Released: 1980

Genre: New Wave

When former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart gave his opinion on a landmark obscenity case, he wrote, "While hard-core pornography was hard to define, I know it, when I see it." (The less famous next part of the sentence is, "and the motion picture involved in this case is not that.")

When it comes to a great song, there's no need to define it. We know when we hear it. Judges know porn; we know music. Which brings us to The Cosmopolitans, a New Wave, mostly all-girl band, that sounded a lot like the B-52's.

Jamie Sims, a classically trained musician, formed an alternative dance group - the Cosmopolitan Dance Troop - in North Carolina and moved to New York City to pursue a career in modern dance. On her first night in NYC, she attended a record release party for Blondie's first album! How's that for street cred? 

In the early days of the Cosmopolitan Dance Troop, they go-go danced on stage with bands like The dB's and The Fleshtones. During this period, Sims began writing goofy songs for the act. The troupe struggled, so friends of The Cosmopolitans organized a benefit show at CBGB to help them out.

At the benefit, they performed one of their wacky compositions, along with their high energy, pom-pom girl/go-go dance act. The crowd ate it up. From that point, they began to book themselves as a rock band, while performing to pre-taped songs.

In 1980, they recorded three songs, and in a couple of months were signed by Shake Records. Shake released the single "(How to Keep Your) Husband Happy" b/w "Wild Moose Party." Soon after that, it went into rotation on WNEW, a major rock station in New York.

"(How to Keep Your) Husband Happy" is based on 1950s fitness guru Debbie Drake's exercise record. The song is a Gloria Steinem nightmare. It offers great "advice" like, "Shape up, tone up," "Nice voice; keep it soft and musical," and my favorite, "Excess fat, Taboo!"

Sims delivers the lines in a sarcastic cheerleader tone that will have you reaching for your pom-poms and wishing this band had recorded more material. A marvelous retro video directed by Michael Dugan includes footage from their performance on the infamous Uncle Floyd Show and illustrates exactly how "MTV-ready" the band was. But the birth of MTV was still a year away.

If you want more, just listen to "Chevy Baby." A song about - you guessed it - trading your baby for a Chevy. The Cosmopolitans toured the East Coast, but stardom never materialized. Sims contracted Epstein Barr Virus and the group dissolved in 1982.

Sims lives in Virginia, where she currently composes classical music. Everybody ready? Let's go! Shape up! Tone Up!...  

                    

(Jim Pace can usually be found directing music videos in and around NYC. He will begin production on his first feature film in 2013. He spends his spare time writing songs, screenplays and getting involved in anything that will give him an excuse to listen to more music.)

5 Herculean Myths in Music

The music world is filled with bizarre rumors and urban myths. There's the one about Marilyn Manson being Paul from "The Wonder Years" or Rod Stewart needing his stomach pumped for uh…various reasons. The list goes on and on.

So, here are just five insane urban myths in music. 

Robert Johnson Sold His Soul

One of the oldest, this one claims that revolutionary blues musician Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil at a cross roads in exchange for his guitar playing abilities. To be fair, recording songs like “Cross Road Blues,” “Me and the Devil Blues," and “Hellhound On My Trail” don't do much to dissuade the rumors. Johnson's sound was so unique it has been “borrowed” by such guitar luminaries as Eric Clapton and Jimmy Page.

Charles Manson Nearly Became a Monkee

Before embarking on a successful career of getting hippies to kill for him, Charles Manson was a struggling musician, peddling songs like “People Say I’m No Good” from his debut album LIE. Yes, Charles Manson has a debut album.

It’s been rumored for years that Manson auditioned for The Monkees in 1965, but that was impossible because he was in prison for violating his probation. Manson did have connections to the music world, however. He was an acquaintance of Beach Boys' drummer Dennis Wilson and even lived at his house for a brief period. He auditioned for The Byrds’ producer Terry Melcher, and the Beach Boys’ song “Never Learn Not To Love” was a reworded version of Manson’s song “Cease To Exist."

Kurt Cobain Was Murdered

Like Elvis and Tupac cheating death, this is one rumor that never dies. Since his tragic suicide in 1994, obsessed fans and conspiracy theorists have claimed that Courtney Love arranged Cobain’s death. Theorists cite the high level of heroin in his bloodstream as being too much to handle a shotgun and the strange interview with The Mentors' lead singer El Duce, who claimed Courtney Love approached him to kill Cobain at one point. Of course, they usually forget to factor in Cobain's chronic back pain, struggles with drug abuse and depression, and the handwritten suicide note....

Michael Jackson Tried To Buy The Elephant Man

I could compile at least a hundred lists of various myths that have been spread about Michael Jackson that would include things like: he slept in a hyperbaric chamber; he was a pedophile; he ate his chimp Bubbles to absorb his strength. I made that last one up. Let’s see if it sticks.

In 1987 a rumor circulated that Jackson offered fifty grand for the bones of John “Elephant Man” Merrick. Of course, purchasing them would have been pretty difficult since the bones were destroyed in a World War II bombing raid.

Paul is Dead

Now this one is a classic! It's right up there with Mama Cass choking on a ham sandwich.  Essentially the claim is that in 1966 Paul McCartney was killed in a car accident and replaced with a lookalike who happened to sound just like Paul McCartney.

Supposed clues can be found in playing “Revolution 9” backwards to hear a voice saying “turn me on dead man” and the cover of Abbey Road, which is said to be a funeral procession - John, in all white, is the preacher; Ringo, in black, is the mourner; a barefoot Paul is the corpse and George, in denim is the gravedigger.

Paul's death is even the subject of a 2010 mockumentary called Paul McCartney Really Is Dead. Of course, this myth is ridiculous. Everyone knows Paul McCartney was killed by the Illuminati in 1995 and replaced with a clone grown in a lab in Austria. 

(Elford Alley has written plays, sketch comedy, and short stories. He currently lives in Dallas with his wife and daughter. Follow Elford on Twitter.) 

5 Musical Actors

Why is it that whenever an actor tries his or her hand at music they usually go down in a ball of flames? Some work out, like Jeff Bridges, who won an Oscar for his portrayal of grizzled country music veteran Otis Blake, which led to the release of two decent albums. But for every Jeff Bridges there are hundreds of Corey Feldmans and Gwyneth Paltrows waiting in the wings.

Here are five random musical actors.

William Shatner

We’ve all heard William Shatner’s bizarre, spoken word version of Elton John’s “Rocket Man," but he truly surprised everyone with his 2004 album Has Been. Produced and arranged by Ben Folds, it was critically acclaimed. Seriously. An album by William “halting cadence” Shatner was critically acclaimed. The album featured a popular cover of Pulp’s “Common People” and the original song “What Have You Done," which deals with his wife’s tragic death in 1999. While he's not the only Star Trek alum to try his hand at a musical career (if you’re brave, google “Leonard Nimoy's Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”), but he’s definitely had the strangest.

Mr. T

This guy went from being a bodyguard who was so renowned he was sought out for assassinations to a punch line relegated to commercials and reality shows. But for a brief moment in 1984, Mr. T was more than a walking cartoon character; he was a walking cartoon character who released two albums, Mr. T’s Commandments and Mr. T’s Be Somebody…or Be Somebody’s Fool. Both of which were meant to inspire kids to stay in school and not do drugs. Eh, still better than anything Nickelback has ever released.

Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal is a man of many terrible talents. He’s made terrible movies, terrible energy drinks, a terrible reality show about his terrible law enforcement career…so why not throw in some terrible music? Mr. Seagal has two albums, 2005’s Songs From The Crystal Cave, featuring a duet with Stevie Wonder (which means either Mr. Wonder has a great sense of humor or truly, truly hates his fans) and 2006’s Mojo Priest. Seagal’s music is a mix of country, blues, and terrible. 

Kevin Bacon

In 1995, Kevin Bacon and his brother Michael formed the folk rock duo, The Bacon Brothers. They’ve released six studio albums, been featured on countless soundtracks, and even performed a charity concert on top of Pike’s Peak in Colorado. They’re currently touring and have even released a greatest hits collection. So, while most actors mentioned in this article have burned out in a blaze of failure, Kevin Bacon makes it work.

Joaquin Phoenix

In 2009, we saw the rap debut of Joaquin Phoenix. At the time most people were pretty sure his music career and retirement from acting were nothing more than an elaborate ruse. And they were right; it was all staged for the mockumentary I’m Still Here. But just think at what a glorious world it could have been, where a disheveled, hoboesque Joaquin is stumbling on stage night after night, sputtering lyrical poetry and fishing bread crumbs from his beard.

That’s just a small sample. The list of actors-turned-musician is seemingly never ending. There’s Eddie Murphy’s disastrous album, Lindsay Lohan’s train wreck of a record, Bruce Willis’ painfully mediocre bar band, Kim Kardashian’s sad, sad attempt at singing, and god help us, even Kevin Costner has taken a stab at it. 

(Elford Alley has written plays, sketch comedy, and short stories. He currently lives in Dallas with his wife and daughter. Follow Elford on Twitter.) 

Thinking About Davy Jones & The Monkees

   

In the wake of Whitney Houston's tragic death, another pop idol's passing has struck a chord with the general public. 

Davy Jones, the cute frontman of the 60's musical group The Monkees, might not have had Ms. Houston's vocal chops, but his cultural impact, together with The Monkees, is equal to if not surpasses the pop diva's. Jones' sudden death has spawned a curious outcry from generations of fans who were brought up on The Monkees and those who discovered the band in reruns in the 70's as well as those who might have found them on MTV in the 80's. 

The Monkees were one of the first pre-fab bands, but they should not be lumped in with other pop creations that followed such as The Archies, the Banana Splits, Josie & the Pussycats, the Partridge Family, even the Spice Girls. First, they performed brilliant songs written by brilliant songwriters: Boyce and Hart, Neil Diamond, Gerry Goffin and Carole King. Second, they performed several of their own compositions. Third, they followed a genius blueprint: one part Marx Brothers, one part Beatles.

The show's producers, Bob Rafelson and Bert Schneider, based The Monkees on the Richard Lester film "A Hard Day's Night," which is essentially John, Paul, George and Ringo channeling Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Zeppo as they take occasional breaks from being chased by hordes of young women to play music. The sum of that equation adds up to an absurdist comedy, avant garde production, hip guests like Frank Zappa and Tim Buckley, and of course compelling music and videos.

James Poniewozik, a contributor to Time Magazine, has praised the classic sitcom as well as Davy Jones: "Even if the show never meant to be more than entertainment and a hit-single generator, we shouldn’t sell The Monkees short. It was far better television than it had to be; during an era of formulaic domestic sitcoms and wacky comedies, it was a stylistically ambitious show, with a distinctive visual style, absurdist sense of humor and unusual story structure. Whatever Jones and The Monkees were meant to be, they became creative artists in their own right, and Jones' chipper Brit-pop presence was a big reason they were able to produce work that was commercial, wholesome and yet impressively weird." 

When I was a kid (watching The Monkees reruns), I wanted to be Mike Nesmith until I found out that he was modeled after John Lennon. For me, The Monkees - and I'm sure that I'm not alone in this - introduced me to The Beatles. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else but these four charming, witty and talented young musicians in their own right to have given me the most important education of my life.

I wouldn't have had it any other way.

                    

Elliott Smith, Good Will Hunting and the Academy Awards

                        
Whether or not Matt Damon and Ben Affleck actually wrote the screenplay for Good Will Hunting without the assistance of a ghost writer is highly debatable. Nevertheless, it's a good flick as Damon and Affleck won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. The soundtrack is equally good due in part to Elliott Smith's contributions.

Director Gus Van Sant asked fellow Portland resident Elliott Smith to supply several songs to the film's soundtrack. Smith recorded an orchestral version of "Between the Bars" with composer Danny Elfman, offered three previously-released tracks ("No Name #3", from Roman Candle, and "Angeles" and "Say Yes," from Either/Or, and a new song, "Miss Misery," that was eventually nominated for an Academy Award.

                                               

Smith reluctantly agreed to perform "Miss Misery" at the 1998 Academy Awards Ceremony. For me, the musical segment of the show that honors the nominees for Best Song is when I usually take a bathroom break. I mean how many times can you watch Randy Newman perform?

Wearing a white suit and looking completely out of place, Smith strummed an acoustic guitar, while accompanied by the house orchestra. He sang quietly; his performance was understated; and there was no way in hell that his song would win. James Horner and Will Jennings would eventually win for "My Heart Will Go On" (from Titanic) which was performed by Celine Dion. But for two glorious minutes the Academy Awards were musically relevant.

Elliott Smith commented on the experience: "...I enjoy performing almost as much as I enjoy making up songs in the first place. But the Oscars was a very strange show, where the set was only one song cut down to less than two minutes, and the audience was a lot of people who didn't come to hear me play. I wouldn't want to live in that world, but it was fun to walk around on the moon for a day."

                    

5 Awesome Music Videos

                                                                

I'm old enough to remember when MTV took to the airwaves - August 1, 1981. It didn't take long before MTV assaulted all of us with its slogan, "I want my MTV." I remember the cheesy promotional photos of the Apollo 11 moon landing, with the flag featuring MTV's logo. I even remember the original five VJs - Nina Blackwood, Mark Goodman, Alan Hunter, J.J. Jackson and Martha Quinn - and thinking none of them had an ounce of talent but at least Martha Quinn was adorable. 

                                                 

I didn't see the first two videos that were aired, The Buggles' "Video Killed the Radio Star" and Pat Benatar's "You Better Run," because my family didn't have cable. Both videos are merely mediocre, but here are five killer videos that I have had the opportunity to view. 

Song: "Hurt"

Artist: Johnny Cash

Director: Mark Romanek

Romanek's video captures a beleaguered Cash at the end of his tumultuous life. The video accomplishes what great videos should - it enhances the singer's performance.

 

Song: "Buddy Holly"

Band: Weezer

Director: Spike Jonze

Who's the coolest fictional character of all time? That's right, Fonzie. Well, The Fonz is the star of Spike Jonze's video, so that makes Weezer's video the coolest of all time.

  

Song: "Once in a Lifetime"

Band: Talking Heads

Director: Toni Basil

Remember Toni Basil? She had one that annoying hit in the 80's called "Mickey." She also directed and helped choreograph this video that managed to capture David Byrne's bizarre brilliance. Even though "Once in a Lifetime" didn't receive much radio play, it was in heavy rotation on MTV.

  

Song: "Jeremy"

Band: Pearl Jam

Director: Mark Pellington 

One of the most artistic videos ever. The final scene still gives me goose bumps. Mark Pellington stated, "I think that video tapped into something that has always been around and will always be around. You're always going to have peer pressure, you're always going to have adolescent rage, you're always going to have dysfunctional families."

 

Song: "Sledgehammer"

Artist: Peter Gabriel

Director: Stephen R. Johnson

In 1986, Stephen R. Johnson's video for "Sledgehammer" was considered groundbreaking for "its innovative use of claymation, pixilation and stop-motion animation." Today, it's still impressive.

 

I Want My MTV

                                    

MTV helped catapult the careers of Madonna and Michael Jackson. But it also ended those of many established artists who were unable to groove with the alternating rhythm of the times.

In their recent book, I Want My MTV: The Uncensored Story of the Music Video Revolution, journalists Craig Marks an Rob Tannenbaum have compiled an oral history that reflects the power MTV had in making or breaking artists in the early 80's.

For those artists/bands who embraced the music industry's new medium - Madonna, Michael Jackson, Duran Duran, ZZ Top, and Def Leppard for instance - MTV enabled them to reach an audience they would never have reached with vinyl records alone, turning them into international stars. According to J. Freedom duLac at The Washington Post, "Record sales doubled during the first decade of MTV’s existence, although the advent of the CD had something to do with it."

Some artists/groups simply refused to make videos, and then there were those established musicians like Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Rick James and Billy Squier who tried and failed. To their credit, they at least recognized how quickly music videos had become a vital part of the business. Image had become a crucial component of the rock and roll equation. Unfortunately, their music didn't quite translate as well on television.

In Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark," the singer asks a girl in the audience (Courtney Cox) to join him on stage. They dance like two dorks at a middle school dance, while the band plays on. In Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl," Billy, dressed as a car mechanic, dances around a garage, while holding a crescent wrench. Rick James' "Superfreak" is downright cheesy; and then there is Billy Squier's "Rock Me Tonite." A video that takes Rick James' cheese to unreachable heights. It's most likely the worst video ever made. Whereas Springsteen, Joel and James were able to rebound, poor Billy Squier's career went down in a ball of flames.

Billy Squier was a hard-rock superstar before he released the "Rock Me Tonite" video in 1984. The video is riddled with cliches that succeed in tarnishing the hard rocker's image: Squier skips around his bedroom, grinds on the floor, rips off his pink t-shirt, then falls back onto his bed. The singer blames the video, which was directed and choreographed by Kenny Ortega, for his career's demise.

Marks and Tannenbaum dedicate an entire chapter to the Billy Squier debacle. The authors interviewed over 400 people - artists, managers, filmmakers, record company executives and MTV employees - and none could agree on the best video, but all agreed that "Rock Me Tonite" was the worst. Squier has said:

       The video misrepresents who I am as an artist. I was a good-looking, sexy guy. That certainly didn't hurt in         selling records. But in this video I'm sort of pretty boy. And I'm preening around a room. People said "He's         gay." Or "He's on drugs." It was traumatizing to me. I mean, I had nothing against gays. I have a lot of gay         friends. But like it or not, it was more of a sticky point then.

Take a look for yourself and you decide if it's the worst music video ever made.

                  

Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem

They're bigger than Elvis. They've sold more records than Michael Jackson and Madonna. They're more influential than The Beatles. They're "more popular than Jesus."

They're Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. 

Jim Henson designed the puppets Dr. Teeth and Animal, while the rest of the original band members were designed by Michael K. Frith.

Now let's introduce the band:

Dr. Teeth (Keyboards/Vocals)

Dr. Teeth is the green-skinned, red-haired, wide-grinned, full-mouthed leader of the band. His gold tooth is claimed to have been fashioned from the melting down of his gold records.

Dr. Teeth's arms are so long that Jim Henson worked with another performer who acted as Dr. Teeth's 'hands' in order to play the keyboard. Dr. Teeth is based on the musician Dr. John. 

Animal (Drums)

Animal, the untamed drummer, is the only member of the band to have appeared in every feature film. He is named for his wild behavior and drumming style. Some folks believe that Animal is based on Keith Moon, while others believe he is based on Mick Fleetwood. 

Janice (Guitar/Vocals)

Janice plays a left-handed Gibson Les Paul, and though she sings regularly, she has only sang lead a couple of times on the show. Janice has been romantically linked to Zoot and Floyd Pepper. Her name is an homage to Janis Joplin.

Sgt. Floyd Pepper (Bass/Vocals)

He's the "hippest of the hip." He's Sgt. Floyd Pepper.

Although Dr. Teeth is the leader of the band, Sgt. Floyd Pepper performs most of the vocals. Some of the songs he sang include: "New York State of Mind," "Ain't Misbehavin'," "While My Guitar Gently Weeps," and "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover." 

Like Janice, Floyd Pepper plays left-handed, an obvious homage to Paul McCartney. His name refers to Pink Floyd and the Beatles' album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, but he resembles Duane Allman.

Floyd considers himself a genius songwriter, but admits that everyone hates his music: "If I didn't know I was a genius, I wouldn't listen to the trash I write."

Zoot (Saxophone)

Zoot dated Janice for a while, but his real moment in the sun comes at the end of The Muppet Show when he toots out the final off-key note. His name refers to the 20th century saxophonist Zoot Sims and modeled after Latin saxophonist and composer Gato Barbieri.

Lips (Trumpet)

Lips joined the Electric Mayhem in the later episodes. He has a yellow Afro, goatee, a permanent squint, and doesn't say very much. He just plays trumpet.

Living in the Material World: George Harrison

                 
Part one of Martin Scorcese's highly anticipated documentary, Living in the Material World: George Harrison, will air tomorrow evening on HBO. Scorcese's film is an overdue examination of the Quiet Beatle's life and musical contributions.

After Harrison's death in November 2001, his widow Olivia received several offers to produce a film about her late husband's life in which she declined since George wanted to tell his own life story through his video archive. However, after meeting an eager Martin Scorsese, Olivia gave the legendary director the green light and signed on as the film's producer. Scorcese is no stranger to the rock documentary, having directed No Direction Home and The Blues as well as the concert films, The Last Waltz and Shine a Light.

According to Scorsese, he was attracted to the project because "that subject matter has never left me...the more you're in the material world, the more there is a tendency for a search for serenity and a need to not be distracted by physical elements that are around you. His music is very important to me, so I was interested in the journey that he took as an artist."

The documentary will follow the Dark Horse's story from his early days in Liverpool, The Beatles, his travels to India, the influence of Indian culture in his music, as well as his significance as a member of The Beatlesand his post-Beatles success as a songwriter. It will consist of previously unseen footage and interviews with Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Yoko Ono, Eric Clapton, Eric Idle, Tom Petty and Phil Spector.